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Plenty of movie ideas here in Bullitt County

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My Views

By Stephen Thomas

It’s okay to be a little scared at Halloween. It’s actually kind of fun. Old traditions of days past used to literally frighten people. Today they are a constant source of Halloween entertainment.

Trick-or-treaters are the most common take on this change. Kids used to dress as hobos and tramps, begging for candy and treats. Now they dress up from the best-known celebrities to the creepiest of souls.

Another great look at days past is the horror film genre. What once scared entire generations awake all night now makes for cute children’s stories. Count Dracula and the Frankenstein Monster have gone from the edge of terror to smiling logos at parties.

Over the course of time horror films adapted to its ever-changing audience. In the 1950s we saw bigger mutated monsters as a result of new scientific discoveries. In the 70s there were more alien movies after Americans walked on the moon. In the 80s special effects made for a lot of bloody sequels.

Every year it’s more difficult to come up with suspenseful horror stories for current thrill-seeking audiences. Despite the challenge, I believe filmmakers can look no further than Bullitt County for new frightening ideas. I’ll share some of my own here, in traditional B-movie horror fashion:

“It happens every year around this time. You know it’s coming but you can’t do anything to stop it. It invades your home and divides your family. No one can hide from the wrath of... The Election!

Here’s a related idea, possibly the future sequel:

“They have returned, more and more each year. Soon there will be no safe place to turn. They are on your streets, on the sides of buildings, even in your own front yard. Beware of... The Political Yard Signs!

Which leads me to my next idea:

“You try to make it to your next Halloween party. You have the directions but you can’t find it. You are supposed to turn left at a street you never locate. Before you know it, you’ll never find your way home, thanks to... The Disappearing Street signs!

This next one just gives me the heebie-jeebies:

“They’re everywhere: on the street, in the parking lots, in your own homes. Now they are coming back to life in packs. Soon there will be too many to handle. They’ve been discarded, but now they seek revenge on their former owners. Keep your ashtrays ready for... The Attack of the Killer Cigarette Butts!

Only Bullitt County could create this next shocker:

“He’s always smiling. He’s always happy to see you. He always offers you a place to stay. But why does he carry so many keys? What does he have to hide? Why is he so eager for your arrival? What lies in mystery beneath the county detention center? Be careful, Bullitt Countians, for you never know when you might become the next victim of... The Jailer! (Starring Danny Fackler as himself)

With the success of The Jailer comes this suspenseful saga:

“First it was Shepherdsville. Then it was Lebanon Junction. Then Mount Washington. And Pioneer Village, kind of. One minute they are there, serving and protecting, the next minute they’re gone. What has become of... The Police Chiefs!

In Bullitt County the fun never stops. Or does it:

“You try to run. You try to get away. But you can’t go to work, or school. And you can’t leave the county. You may not even be able to leave your own driveway. You, like many others before you, have become the latest victim of... The Traffic Jam!

This idea began in summer, but now is really its best time:

“They’re everywhere, and they are good for nothing... except wreaking havoc. You hear their familiar crunch with every step you take. They blind your vision and deafen you with their constant all-night shrieking. It takes 17 years to complete the revenge of...The Cicadas!

How many of you were thinking ‘mother-in-law’ during that last flick?

A new local legend results from one of the county’s most popular events:

“They came from everywhere else: Louisville, Elizabethtown, even Indiana! Once they’ve arrived you have nowhere else to go. Your torture will last for hours and hours. The horror takes place at the Zoneton Fire Department on Preston Highway, where hundreds gather outside for their fair share of Halloween candy in... The Trick-or-Treat Line!

How about this one for a final ‘deadline’:

“He sees everything. He knows everybody. He watches every move. If you’re not careful you’ll become yesterday’s news; then you’ll be tomorrow’s news. The entire community (or maybe just the editorial staff) will live in constant fear of... The Editor!

Don’t forget to check www.pioneernews.net for a list of holidays, designations and events so big it will scare you into having a good time!